HONESTY TALK

I have been contemplating about what kind of post I wanted to make. I wanted to suggest you what to wear for New Year's Eve, to publish one outfit post(I finally got the pictures), to make a post about Christmas in my home and city, but in the end, since it's the real end of 2013 I decided to make something completely different.I wanted to do a kind of review on this past year of 2013 and by doing that tell you honestly what I think about some things that have been on my mind for the past long period of time.

First half of the year is kinda blurr for me because of this second half. At least, what I remember from the first half of the year is that I got my first real job, at least seasonal job. It meant completely growing up at that point. I can proudly say that I worked for Kempinski Hotel in Croatia and there, there were ups and downs, but I learnt so much about the course I am majoring in. It was the first time in 5 years(I've studied tourism in high school and I'm majoring in tourism management in college now) that I wasn't sick to waking up to do the job or that I felt fear from guests. There are few guests I will always remember: my beloved Russian John Travolta that I had to wash mint leaves every morning for the tea and bring freshly baked hot croissants to his wife or my beloved Austrians that I talked to every morning and it was such a pleasure.

Well, in the second half, I went to Vienna again, oh how I cannot have enough of that city. Vienna reminds me of my hometown Zagreb with the architecture, but Vienna is on a such a higher mental position than Zagreb, speaking of people, culture and everything that goes within. It was a good time there, I saw some things I missed last time we were in Vienna.

Then, my second year at college started and by the second week my uncle called me telling me my dad was really bad. To clear things up, my parents were divorced for 16 years and we haven't really had a close contact with our father, but still he was my father. My father was diagnosed with cancer of the esophagus(throat cancer) and was close to dying. I picked my stuff and went to Zagreb with the intention of visiting him and telling him it is okay and that I forgive him for everything he's done, I just wanted to tell him I've always loved him. That night when I came home, he died. I didn't make it to the hospital. That week was a week of such a torture for both me and my sister. It was really hard dealing with that fact that my father died, and it still is. It really affected me, and there are so many moments I just want to look at our pictures and cry endlessly, but for my father I gotta keep going. Rest in peace, daddy. I will always love you.

As for the college, it going insanely perfect. The crew got better, connections got tighter and the exams are going also great, this start of the second year at college was really amazing and I am grateful to God to the end of Universe for that, living in Rijeka doesn't really feel like living like a stranger, streets are more familiar, jokes are more frequent, adventures hitting here and there.

Few weeks ago I found out that maybe I will have to give up from college because my mother's financial situation is not nowhere near good. I do pay for a room in an appartment which I share with 3 other girls 100€ + water, electricity, I also pay for the bus because I have to use one to get to college, food and I don't even drink coffee when we go to the caffé. Tried to find a job in Rijeka, believe me, I did, and seems like I didn't really have luck. Like I ever get lucky anyway! I don't want to give up college now when it rolls perfectly in every aspect!

In the end, I managed to gain the weight I had back again, and it's what frustrates me the most after not having money to live properly. It is all my fault I know it, and I am even more determined to go back to gym and working out.

There are few topics I would like to discuss here with you, but I will leave it for another post in a new year.

As for the resolutions, maybe I should point them out this year so I could better stick to them; what I would like to achieve is to be and stay healthy, to be even better at college, to finally find a job, loose wight and live healthy, to face some fears and to be a better and frequent blogger, to love and to be loved.

What are your resolutions for 2014?